Approaching people...

[Kamaria]

Anyone else feel awkward about this even still? It's not that I'm nervous, but I just feel like I'm doing it wrong, and every time I try to peg someone for RP I feel like I'm not going about it right or I'm just bothering the other person somehow. I really don't know.

What's the best way to approach people on the chat, and has anyone else had problems like this?

[Jaxed]

Wouldn't surprise me if a lot of people have this problem, especially at first. Considering that vore is an awkward fetish to begin with, it can be quite intimidating to contact someone, even if you know the other person shares your fetish for vore, it can be split so many different ways (samesize vs macro/micro, digestion vs no digestion, etc.) that you can still feel worlds apart from someone else. And when someone turns you down, you can almost feel like it was your fault.

I honestly can't really give you any advice, because I still have this problem. Just keep lurking, and you might get lucky to find someone that just clicks exactly, and it helps when they are already open for RPing, of course.

[KarboFan1]

Weeelll I can prolly help you here. Lotsa things I notice is people try and use sophisticated big words and the like to get into someone's pants. But seriously, that logic is totally backwards. Think about this, who would have better luck picking up a one night stand (which is pretty much what you are doing in the chat = sexual rp) A guy in a top hat with a walking cane or a regular joe. Basically what i saying is to try and talk sexy, and no I don't mean the creepy stalker type sexy I mean the george clooney type of sexy. I can't count how many ppl approach one of my preds saying exactly "Good evening madam. I was wondering if I might peak your interest in a scene faring our two characters?" <--- that might work in like 1800 or something like that but this is 2011 get real ppl!

Next, read the fawking profile for fawks sake. And fawks as in fox, but for you naughty minds I maybe dropped the f bomb in a pg13 sense why not... ANYWAYS. Jumping the gun = bad idea, look before you leap not the other way around. Ppl like other ppl that read their profile. It makes them feel special and not just another piece of meat to be used as fapsauce. Kk? Profile reading = good, why not make a comment or something in ur approach to prove that u read it. like for example say they talk about growing up like slumdog millionaire, idk who that is btw but i think i got a clue. Make some relations or w/e, you know?

also, make sure u have good grammar skill in ur profile and ur sentences, dont type casual style like im doing rite now, sure its faster and more comfy but sometimes it cna becoem a bit hrad to raed!!!1 k so we got sexy talk down, profile reading down, and grammar skill down. just throw a bit of common sense in ther and u should be good to go buuuuudy. hope i helped, kthxbai

[Cryptrat]

Just jump on them and poke them in the eye holes with your fingers. Everyone likes that.

It's hard to come up with a serious answer. Some people are really casual about it, other people are really up front and demanding about it, and some people just never get the courage to ask and maybe be told no.

Generally I'd say check and see if they're occupied, but as many people seem to play in PM's without bothering to say as much in their little sign next to their name, it doesn't work. Checking a profile first does help a little if you are going to ask someone to play.

It would probably be easier to say what NOT to say.

1.) "Hey want to RP? Here's my idea... blah blah blah blah blah blah." All this said before they can say yes or no.

2.) Directly after initial "Hi" is out of the way, keep PM'ing them again and again and again, asking them if they want to play, if their preds like willing prey (if you're a pred, you don't need to ask to RP trust me) and on and on and on until you're having a conversation with them which they don't bother answering you.

3.) "I PM'ed (someone else) and their busy. Want to RP?" Uh, sure I want to be your sloppy second choice. As soon as I try out my new home root canal kit.

4.) "You're hot. Want to go somewhere else and chat?" or "What messengers do you use?" or just send them your messenger right off the bat. Giving this info out is fine, for some people, but get to know them first and realize some of them RP on Eka's because they don't want to use their Messenger to chat.

5.) "Are you really a chick?" or "Are you really a dude?" *bangs head on desk* "Got any pictures?"

Those are things you should avoid as conversation starters. Yes, people have done those all to me. Yes I hate it. No I didn't RP with any of the people who did it.

[didhejustsaythat]

lmao, wish i could help you. but i dont even have the brain capacity to ffigure out how to get the chat to work.

[Crownflame]

"Good evening madam. I was wondering if I might peak your interest in a scene faring our two characters?"

I'm not sure what's wrong with taking a polite approach. In my opinion, this is FAR better than "ur character is hot lets RP". At least it shows that A) the person appears to be polite and serious, and B) the person might be able to actually type coherently in an RP (guess what? English is actually important to some people. To me, if a native English speaker won't type English at an adult level, they have no business approaching me with adult requests. If they don't type to be understood, it's not worth my trouble to try to understand them).

As long as the person can back it up, of course. I mean, if you talk all flowery to get someone to RP with you, and then lay there like a dead rock in the RP, well... Maybe you should speak more representative of how you actually play.

"Hi, will you type me some arousing vore posts while I lay around like a dead rock and fap? Kthnx?"

As far as approaching people, approach them like people. Don't be all like "HAY, I HEER YOU HAVE A VAGINA. LET'S GO!" I honestly doubt anyone in the chatroom is there specifically to get everyone off with no getting off in return- nobody's a porn star.

So here's what I would suggest (as in, I would appreciate- though obviously I only speak for myself).

-Read the person's profile and find some common ground (the player's actual gender matching up with yours is NOT COMMON GROUND). Maybe think of a couple possible scenarios.

-Just ask the person if they're free for RP, playing this common ground. Like, "Hello! Your profile says you like dragon vore- would you be interested in a dragon RP with me?" Or "Wow, you play my favorite type of pred- would you be interested in an RP?" Or "Hi! Your profile says you like to eat anthro foxes. I actually play one of those, so would you be interested in RPing with me?"

That's what I would recommend, in a nutshell. Find some common ground and grow from that. Don't be afraid to actually converse a while before the RP actually starts; the more you know about your partner, the better the RP will be.

[Houyo]

There's a lot of good tips here. But I just thought of another one.

Be confident!There is no really best sure fire way to ask people so every time you try it's going to be a roll of the dice. Everybody has a different way of asking and responds in a different way. But there's no reason to feel like your doing something wrong unless someone tells you straight up. So just cross you're fingers and hope for the best but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go right.

[geofrey]

Well I quite like the, "Hey want to roleplay, here's my idea blah blah blah blah blah" approach. otherwise it just goes, "Hey there would you like to roleplay?" "I am not sure, what do you want to do?"

Always good to bring an idea to the scene, just a thought of what you think of a scene betweent he characters, gives a good idea if you will be compatible by looking at the idea and good ideas can be more tempting than, "Hello there, would you like to play a scene?"

So yeah, usually it's just as simple as, "Hello there, I was wondering if you would like to play a scene. I was thinking of a scene involving (what the plot or setting for your idea is)"

Ofcourse this requires you to read the profile to see if they would even be interested in what you're suggesting, and always be open to modify an idea you have, use it as a little bit of bait on a hook and if they want something a little different (and tell you) and you want to provide it, then switch or modify the idea.

But try to have an idea if you're approaching someone.

[Nekomaru]

Well I quite like the, "Hey want to roleplay, here's my idea blah blah blah blah blah" approach. otherwise it just goes, "Hey there would you like to roleplay?" "I am not sure, what do you want to do?"

Always good to bring an idea to the scene, just a thought of what you think of a scene betweent he characters, gives a good idea if you will be compatible by looking at the idea and good ideas can be more tempting than, "Hello there, would you like to play a scene?"

This...this...this!

This has happened to me a few times already...I have to keep asking them specific questions repeatedly before I get any idea what they want to do! And then I usually end up disappointing them 'cuz we're not 'compatible' so to speak.

It'd be really helpful if people summed up what they're looking for in the first PM. Doesn't have to be great detail...just a quick idea to get the ball rolling! Pleeease do this everyone! =P

[Cryptrat]

Crownflame: Will you type me some arousing vore sentences while I... *is beaten over head by Writer*

[Crownflame]

Crownflame: Will you type me some arousing vore sentences while I... *is beaten over head by Writer*

*puts shoe on head*

Er, I mean... vore. Yeah.

(...I lol'd)

[necryel]

I find that it's best to simply make you're intensions clear in the first post, usually in a polite manner. Some people get turned off by the "Hi, hello, how are you" type approaches. Yes it's all well and good to be courtious, but some people, especially those with popular characters would really prefer if you just get to the point.


So a simple "Good evening, I thought you might like to do an RP with me, let me know if you're up to it." is often the best way to go. Something alng those lines anyways. The idea is to be both courtious and succinct with you're request.

Remember, you never know if someone will play with you if you never get around to asking; and you'd be surprised how many people will take your requests more seriously if you just put it out there to them. Rather than trifling with pleasantries, you now have more time to discuss any ideas and get into playing.

[prisoner]

People have talked about a few opposing viewpoints, such as whether a hypothetical RP scenario should be presented before or after the yes/no is received. I would like to present another for those interested in reading. Two others, actually.

First, I don't see why having a friendly chat before the RP is being put forward as the standard way in which things should be done. I've never finished a discussed RP scenario. Sometimes it's an issue of interest. The biggest problem is that when specifics are agreed upon beforehand (for the sake of pleasing both partners), the excitement is now gone. A framework is better for a story (or for interactive story-writing for you co-authors out there), but encounters with a sexual theme should be spontaneous. Also, there's the threat of getting to know the person too well. I'm here to indulge a fantasy with a fabricated character. If we spend too much time out of character then the illusion is broken and things can become awkward. If the profile of both players is in-depth then just reading each other's should be sufficient. The two most important in my mind are sample scenarios and WON'Ts. A person should pick up on many of your likes just by reading about stuff you've done that you've enjoyed. Couple that with identifiable 'red flags' and there's no discussion necessary, really. Think about it. If you go on a date with someone you're interested in, you don't ask how they like to kiss, and where they like to be touched, and what their favorite position is, and if they like to be pushed up against a wall...to be fair, you wouldn't ask about previous sexual exploits either, but that's besides the point. Just stop acting like formality is the only option. It's OK to be a little spontaneous, reject and be rejected every so often. It's OK to take a more natural approach.

Secondly, I'm different in that I don't think writing fap material for the other person is necessarily a bad thing. Think about all the artists who take requests. They won't take the request if it is not interesting IN SOME WAY to them. I have a lot of good ideas in my head, but oftentimes I'm not sure how to get them out. If someone comes along and gently prods me every so often, gently nudges me in the right direction, and gets me going whenever I get stuck or unsure of myself, then that can be a good thing. As long as I enjoy what I'm writing, it doesn't always bother me that the quality or quantity of my writing is better than the other person's. If I know I will look back on the scene and enjoy it, or even fap to it myself later, then it's not really an issue.

Just some things to consider. I was going to blog about this sort of thing, but a topic conveniently popped up so I figured hey, what the hell. :p Be back...whenever..

[Gah]

As said before by a few within this topic, there are many differant ways people like and hate to be approached; and many differant dislikes/ pet peaves/ alike. That being said, there is now 100 percent right way to ask or engage another party for Role play. However, I can show you the method I use and perhaps you can gain some insight from that.

Step 1: the 'Poke'. This is usually your first message and it can take many forms. It can be a simple 'Hi'.. or even something like "/me pokes".. the goal of this is not so much to communicate as it is basicly to get the other parties attention with a short post. Giving them time to find your profile and reply with something equally short to confirm they are there. Sometimes people are away after all, somtimes they miss your post because they are busy else where. If you open up with to large of a starter post, it may seem like your being ignored when the other party doesnt answer. Thus, starting short might spare you a lot of frustration and hurt feelings if no one replys.

Step 2: Asking if there interested. "I like your character. Would you perhaps be up for hearing a pitch to RP?" Simple and to the point with what you want. You want to tell them your idea for such an RP. Giving them to option to bow out right there if for some reason they are busy at the moment completely disinterested. It gives the other party lea way to say they will hear you out, without putting them on the spot to say yes or no. Now, some people like to be wooed.. I'm more a straight to the point kinda person.

step 3: The pitch. Why do you want to RP with them, what kind of RP are you looking for? Express to them a good frame work for somthing without it being to rigid and pre planned. Gauge if there interested, in the idea. This is my idea of 'wooing'.. Making the other party interested in the scene, or the possibilities in the pairing of the characters. Not hitting on them (the player) like a sleazy date in a shadey bar. Remember not to plan to much for to long or you run the risk of 'planning the scene to death'.


<u>other Advice:</u>

Read profiles: Profiles are a way to comminicate likes and wants. Read theres and gauge out if there the kinda player you think you would mesh well with.
Be on the character you want to play with them with, and be in the same room. Now, you 'can' just skim it. But be sure to read any Detailed like/hate notations and the preference bars. So profiles are rather ridulous, honestly, but atleast skim there profile for the important bits. Don't jump in like a half cocked crack addict in need of a fix.... Yknow some people dont even *like* whisper approachs and have big 'DONT WHISPER ME' Signs (Points a to self -_-;;))

Dont make them work to know who you are: If you dont feel like alt hoping, or just need to remain in a differant room then them; include a /look Characternamehere typed in the message so they can cut/paste into there bar and view you profile with ease.

Don't be to needy: Be prepared to walk away from the approach.

Don't be a sissy: Know what you want and ask for it in a respectful way.

Don't be a dumb ass: Don't ask for things you know the other person isn't into.

Don't pester: Dont pester the same people daily. Don't make a fuss when they say no.

Be literate: dont type liek this k?!?!11

Know what you like to do, and be willing to communicate it: I'm into everything is just like saying 'Im into nothing' Give the other party 'something' to work with if they happen to ask.

Y'know.. I could keep going, but I think I'm beginning to delve into things other people have already covered. I hope this helps some.

[Aiden]

I like whispers that show that the person read the profile or that the person is curious about and interested in my character. It doesn't take much, just a small compliment or sign of interest/statement that you'd like to ask a question about him is enough to make me feel confident that we would both enjoy an rp.

It's best to establish that their character and preferences are what you are up for before you start throwing out ideas for an rp. It makes me feel like if I'm not interested in your initial idea we can still come up with a scene we both like as your interest has to do more with my character and not a specific scene you want to try. As pred, I feel a bit more pressure to make sure I'm sensitive to the preferences of the other player as it is my character performing vore actions on their character so showing you read my profile and like the character are big pluses for me as they just make me feel more comfortable.

Don't be afraid to get pred players' attention with a whisper unless thier profile says not to. Most preds prefer not to approach preys and instead wait with their tags up for people interested in their character to drop them a message. Personally even if I find a prey I'd like to rp with I'm reluctant to whisper them. I just find it awkward asking someone if it's ok to eat them which is basically what you are doing when you are a pred asking for RP. XD

I will say that Gah gave some extremely good advice on how to go about whispering a pred.

[prisoner]

Don't be to needy: Be prepared to walk away from the approach.

This. Sometimes you learn that the two of you are not as compatible as you originally thought, and it can be hard as the initiator to "change your mind."

[Sy0p]

"Good evening madam. I was wondering if I might peak your interest in a scene faring our two characters?"

I'm not sure what's wrong with taking a polite approach. In my opinion, this is FAR better than "ur character is hot lets RP". At least it shows that A) the person appears to be polite and serious, and B) the person might be able to actually type coherently in an RP (guess what? English is actually important to some people. To me, if a native English speaker won't type English at an adult level, they have no business approaching me with adult requests. If they don't type to be understood, it's not worth my trouble to try to understand them).

As long as the person can back it up, of course. I mean, if you talk all flowery to get someone to RP with you, and then lay there like a dead rock in the RP, well... Maybe you should speak more representative of how you actually play.

"Hi, will you type me some arousing vore posts while I lay around like a dead rock and fap? Kthnx?"

As far as approaching people, approach them like people. Don't be all like "HAY, I HEER YOU HAVE A VAGINA. LET'S GO!" I honestly doubt anyone in the chatroom is there specifically to get everyone off with no getting off in return- nobody's a porn star.

So here's what I would suggest (as in, I would appreciate- though obviously I only speak for myself).

-Read the person's profile and find some common ground (the player's actual gender matching up with yours is NOT COMMON GROUND). Maybe think of a couple possible scenarios.

-Just ask the person if they're free for RP, playing this common ground. Like, "Hello! Your profile says you like dragon vore- would you be interested in a dragon RP with me?" Or "Wow, you play my favorite type of pred- would you be interested in an RP?" Or "Hi! Your profile says you like to eat anthro foxes. I actually play one of those, so would you be interested in RPing with me?"

That's what I would recommend, in a nutshell. Find some common ground and grow from that. Don't be afraid to actually converse a while before the RP actually starts; the more you know about your partner, the better the RP will be.

So much of this. I'd really like to emphasize the "getting to know your partner" thing- as nice as RP is, at the same time a natural conversation can help build a friendship that can lead to additional RPs. Learn about their interests so you can reconcile them with your own!

'course, I suppose some folks aren't looking to know their predator or prey, and that's fine. But always remember there's a person behind the keyboard!

For the original contact, there's nothing wrong with just saying "Hello," but it is a bit bland. Again I'd push Crownflame's idea for indicating that you've read their profile and saying what you're looking for. "Hi, my character is a diaper-wearing elf with large breasts and a propensity for classic Russian literature, and I've noticed your profile indicates an interest for that sort of prey. Would you like to RP?" would be perfect.

Asking permission isn't always necessary, but if you see someone RPing in public it's best to just indicate your interest via whisper, in my opinion. Some folks (like myself) are pretty bad at multi-tasking, so I like to stick with one (maaaybe two) RPs at a time. Even if they can't RP now, it never hurts just to introduce yourself. Or even just carry on an OOC conversation- "Hey, your character is from Oracle of Seasons! I'm playing through that right now, it's awesome!"

My two cents, anyway. Doesn't apply to everyone, of course, but hey. It's a start.

[vegancarnivore]

I got my first out of the way last night... well, I didn't exactly approach anyone per se, I sorta just lurked in the role play room then eased my way into someone else's session.

I made sure to wait for the hint of an invitation before I sent my character Atreus into the scene. I think I did pretty good considering my lack of experience.