You decide to head down the side of the river along a gravel bar to the south. You walk for about a mile until you come upon a large dead crooked tree. It sits alone at the edge of an embankment and is tilled at a ten-degree angle, hanging over the gravel bar. The tree has not a leaf on it and is almost black in color. The base of the tree twists unnaturally around in a swirl and the limbs are large but sparse and jut out at odd angles. The tree marks the southern edge of the tribe's territory. You've never been beyond it. You walk up to the base of the crooked tree and look back. This gravel bar is where one of your defining life moments happened.
It was about a year and a half ago. You were still just a pichu, a couple of months from evolving. You and your friends snuck away and to come down here. You dared them to come with you and mocked them if they didn't go. Your friends were always scared and timid but you were brave. You forced them to come on adventures with you. They always protested but came anyway. You think they secretly liked the thrill just as much as you did.
You got to the tree and looked around. It was a lot like today, not much going on and the sky was calm and blue but it was early autumn instead of spring. Nothing happened for a minute or two and your friends just talked about how scary the tree looked and you dared them to climb it.
All of the sudden, you heard screeching from the sky above. You looked up and saw a pidgeotto dive bombing you. You all ran together and huddled close in the wide-open on the gravel bar. The pidgeotto pulled out of his dive bomb about three feet above you and flew back into the air. The pidgeotto came so close that you could feel the wind and clearly see its sharp talons. It repeated the process, each time squawking and screeching at you and your friends. You weren't scared, you knew what it was doing. It was trying to make you panic and split up so it could pick one of you off. If it landed in a group of pichu you would all shock it and hurt it badly, maybe even kill it.
You may not have been scared but your friends were terrified. With each dive, your friends screamed louder and shook harder. You could tell they were about to run for it. You told them to stay together, it's just trying to scare us. They listened for a few minutes, but your friend Sara bolted first. She was always the timidest of the group and would beg you not to go on these adventures. You screamed for her to come back but she did not listen. She only got about ten feet. The pidgeotto swooped down and landed on her with its sharp talons. One of its talons clasped around her back, the sharp claws easily digging deep into her soft underbelly. The other wrapped around her head. The back claw punctured straight through her throat, the front two talons dug deep in her chin and neck. Sara collapsed under the force of the pidgeotto. The pidgeotto balanced on her with its wings spread wide for about five seconds, digging the talons deeper and getting a better grip on Sara. She didn't even get the chance to shock it. She squirmed and gurgled out blood, but she wasn't going to be alive much longer. The pidgeotto then took off flying with Sara in its clutches. You watched in horror as blood and piss dripped from her body. You saw her struggling but the hook-like claws kept her well secured. She went limp shortly after, one of her ears still twitching. Your two remaining friends cried and screamed for their mothers. You just stood there stunned. You felt completely helpless.
Before you could even process what just happened, three more pidgeotto, that must have heard the commotion, came from the south and started circling you and your remaining friends, about thirty feet above. They just circled for a couple of minutes squawking, probably arguing with each other about which one of you they would eat. The situation was looking bleak. You tried to tell your friends to stick together but they were too hysterical to listen. One of your friends pissed all over you and the other vomited. It felt like an eternity until they made their move. The three pidgeotto suddenly dive-bombed you, all at once. Your friends instantly broke formation and ran, you stood your ground. You looked up, everything happened in slow motion.
You saw two of the pidgeotto peel off to catch your friends. The one trained on you was still diving straight at you. You got low and flashed sparks. If you were going to die, then you would at least give it one good shock to remember you by. About ten feet above you the pidgeotto pulled out of the dive, spread its wings wide, and stretched out its talons below it. The white sharp talons were aimed right at you, opened wide in a grasping position. You braced yourself. When the pidgeotto was about six feet above, you saw fear come into its eyes. It flapped its wings and flew back into the sky. You thought you scared it off. Then you heard growling above you and felt electricity spark around you. You looked up; it was Kat the pikachu matriarch. She was responsible for protecting pichu from predators. She was standing right over you, staring the pidgeotto down and flashing her sparks. You felt so relieved. You remembered your friends and looked up. You saw the other two pidgeotto flying away with empty talons. You looked down and saw four other pikachu adults growling and sparking. Your friends were underneath them holding tight to two different adult's hind legs and bawling.
You looked across the river and saw the pidgeotto that killed Sara. It was resting on a limb, holding Sara in its beak by her tail. Sara was dead, hanging there limp and bloody. Kat saw you looking and stepped in front. She said in a sad voice, "you shouldn't have to see this honey." She picked you up, hugged you close to her chest, and started walking away with you. Kat didn't want you to see but you had to, this was your fault. You tilted your head so you could just peek over Kat's shoulder.
You saw the pidgeotto toss Sara casually high into the air. Sara's body flipped over twice and the pidgeotto snapped forward and caught her by her midsection, in its beak. The pidgeotto obviously had a lot of practice with that move because it made it look so easy. The pidgeotto played with her body for about half a minute, tossing her around like a toy. When it was done playing, it quickly gulped her into the back of its throat. The only thing visible of Sara now was her black small tail sticking out of the beak and a lump in the top of the pidgeotto's neck. The pidgeotto just held her there for a minute, shaking its head gently and looking pleased with its kill. Then the pidgeotto tilted its head to the sky and gulped. It gyrated its neck back and forth. Sara's tail joined the rest of her. Her lump slowly worked its way down the neck and disappeared completely into the pidgeotto's body. When Sara hit its stomach the pidgeotto squatted low, partially fanned its wings, flapping them gently, and ruffled its feathers. It softly cooed and clicked its beak in pleasure. It looked so happy.
You had seen enough and planted your head back in Kat's chest. You did not cry though, you didn't have any emotion at all, just a cold feeling all over. Once far enough away from the pidgeotto, Kat sat you down. You didn't look her in the eye. She had chewed you out many times before for sneaking away, and you expected this would be the worst yet, but she just said in a sad heavy voice, "I'm so sorry Lulu. Come on let's get you back home." She turned to the other four pikachu and told one to run ahead and tell the tribe what happened. The pikachu dashed off with great speed. The other three stayed behind to walk you and your friends back. It was only about a couple of miles walk back but it felt like a thousand. Your friends sobbed the whole way, and they would occasionally stop to dry heave. You walked next to Kat with your head down, not making a sound.
You couldn't bear to look into anyone's eyes, you felt like they were all judging you. You just focused on the dirt below you. You didn't feel any emotion. You knew when you got back to the tribe your father would beat and yell at you. He would do that when you got caught sneaking out before, only this time it would be much worse. Before, you got yourself into serious trouble, but you always pulled through somehow. You thought it was fun, now you realized it was foolish. You almost got yourself killed, you almost got your other friends killed and you did get Sara killed. The elder himself might just yell at you for this, maybe even exile you. Whatever the punishment, it wouldn't be enough. You were to blame for Sara's death, and you couldn't even bring yourself to cry about it.
After the long walk, you finally made it back to the tribe. You heard a pikachu crying, it was Ruth, Sara's mother. Her mate held her tight and he was crying too but without sound. Other pikachu were coming up to them and bringing them berries and flowers in condolence. Your friend's mothers ran over and scooped them up and hugged and cried with them. Moments later, your mother did the same. She picked you up and hugged you tight around your back. She said with a heavy heart, "I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." She stroked the back of your head gently. You looked up. Your father was standing behind your mother with his paw on her back. You looked into his eyes expecting rage or at least disappointment but there was none of that. The only thing his eyes said was 'I'm sorry and I understand your pain.' You looked around, a few pikachu were standing around looking at you with the same sympathetic eyes.
Somehow, that look was worse than any beating or tongue lashing you could ever receive. All the grief caught up to you at once. You sobbed loudly but for only one second. You closed your mouth and tried to hold it back. Tears filled your eyes. You started a low groan and your chest felt like it was going to explode. You turned and firmly planted your face in your mother's fur. You went limp and your mother held you tight. You let loose and cried uncontrollably into your mother's fur, making it wet with tears and snot. You felt your father reach around and hug you both tight.
You wailed for at least five minutes straight until your mother picked you up and carried you back to the burrow. She took you into your room and curled around you like she did when you were very young. You continued to cry loudly into her stomach. She cleaned you with her tongue and hummed softly. Eventually, you got exhausted and fell asleep.
You woke up later to an empty room. Your mother wasn't there. You wondered if it was all just a bad dream, but you knew it wasn't. Your eyes still hurt from all the crying. You got up and walked outside. It was the next day. Pikachu were starting to gather around for Sara's funeral. A dark-gray thundercloud was forming over the tribe, low rumbles of thunder periodically disturbed the somber silence. Your mother saw you were up and ran over and started cleaning you. You told her you didn't want to go to the funeral, but she said you had to. You and your family walked to the funeral. Your families were close, so you sat near the front. You just looked down at your paws. You had no emotion, just like before.
You sat through the whole funeral not moving an inch. You kept getting flashbacks while sitting there. You vividly remember how the pidgeotto talons easily ripped into Sara and how they turn from white to red. You kept picturing the pidgeotto's face and how happy it was when it gulped Sara down. Her entire life, all her hopes, and dreams, was just a nice meal and a full stomach to it. The same way you feel about berries. It would probably forget, in a few days, that it ever even ate her.
You were so deep in your thoughts you didn't hear any of the funeral. Pikachu started getting up. Your family got up and so did you. At the end of a funeral, everyone would line up and give their condolences to the affected family. Since you were at the front, your family was one of the first. Your mother and father hugged Sara's and told them they were so sorry and if there was anything they could do, let them know. It was your turn. You went up to Sara's mother. If anyone deserved to hate you it was her, you got her daughter killed.
You looked up into her eyes, she was looking at you softly. You couldn't hold back anymore. You yelled loudly and blurted out quickly in front of everyone, "Miss Ruth it is my fault Sara is dead I made her come she didn't want to go but I made her and called her pidgey if she didn't come and now she got ate up all because of me!" You panted hard and looked intensely into her eyes. Your heart was beating fast. The whole tribe was looking at you, it was so silent you could have heard a caterpie chirp.
Sara's mother's eyes looked shocked at first but then softened and filled with tears. She brought her paw around to the back of your head and gently pushed you into her belly. She embraced you and rubbed your back. She said, "it's okay sweety I don't blame you. I don't blame you one bit.”
That was the worst thing she could have done. You wanted her to slap you or shock you or demand your exile, anything but this. Why wouldn't anybody do anything to you except look at you with sad eyes? You broke down crying again, this time into Sara's mother’s stomach. You cried for so long it was becoming awkward, but you couldn't stop yourself. Your mother rushed over to save you from your embarrassment. She pried you from Ruth's stomach and carried you back to the burrow. You cried for the rest of the day and night. You cried so much you couldn't make tears anymore and your whole face hurt. You eventually fell asleep.
The next couple of weeks were rough. Life for the tribe returned to normal. Pichu deaths were common, about a pawful every year would die. Sometimes it was injury or sickness but most of the time it was predators. You've lost friends and family before, but you never saw it happened, just how brutal their death was, and you never felt responsible.
The grief made you sick. You barely ate anything and just moped around, not looking anyone in the eye. When you went to the watering hole you just sat in the middle of the playing pichu and looked down. You would just focus all your energy on one blade of grass, not thinking about anything but that blade. Pichu would come up to you and ask you to play but you refused. Your friends that were with you during the attack started getting better and would come up and hug you. They told you, 'it's okay, come play with us again,' but you wouldn't budge. You just sat there looking at the ground.
After a while, Kat took notice and walked over to you. She said, "Lulu, I want to talk to you about something in private." You thought maybe this would be the tongue lashing you deserved. You followed her to the base of a big healthy tree. She looked at you, "I want to tell you, how you acted, when the pidgeotto attacked you, was very brave. Even many grown pikachu could not stand there and stare down a predator like that."
Your eyes began to fill with tears and you looked down, "but it was stupid. If you wouldn't have been there, I would have ended up just like Sara."
She sighed, "that's not the point sweety. The other girls there told me how you protected them, how you kept calm, and tried to keep them together. That kind of bravery under pressure is rare. You all would have died if you didn't stall the pidgeotto long enough for us to get there."
You grumbled, "I wouldn't have needed to be brave if I would have listened to you about not sneaking off."
She ruffled the fur on top of your head, "Lulu, you know why no one, not even Sara's mother, is mad at you? It's because we were all pichu once and we all did stupid stuff that almost got us killed, sometimes it did get someone killed. Every single pikachu in the tribe lost someone like Sara and every single pikachu blames themselves for their death, whether rightfully or wrongfully. You can't change what happened to Sara but look," she turned you to the crowd of pichu playing, "they're still here and you can change what happens to them." You didn't say anything. "Listen, I brought you out here because I think you would make a great matriarch someday. Not many females have the stuff and the guts to do it, but I've been watching you for almost two years now. If you want, I'll start training you on how to protect yourself, and others, from predators. I know we don't usually start that kind of stuff till you've evolved but I think you're cut out for it. What do you say?"
You looked up at her. For the first time in two weeks, you felt an emotion different than guilt or grief, you felt excited. "Really," you said with wide eyes. You've always wanted to fight and train but when you asked the adults, they told you that you were too young.
"Yes really, let's start right now. Okay so, ekans like to..." she starts walking and you follow. The first day she gave you a lecture all about ekans, what to look for and how to fight them. You listened closely and asked many questions. You went home and excitingly told your father all about what you learned. He looked mad at first but then he saw how happy it made you. Every time you went to the watering hole Kat taught you about a different predator and how best to deal with it. You learned about type advantages, critical spots to hit, and basic defense moves. You learned quickly.
After a couple of weeks your mood greatly improved, you didn't feel as helpless as before. Your father noticed your improved mood and began to take you into the woods for additional training. That kind of fatherly training was usually reserved for sons, but your father taught you anyway. He took you out into the woods and showed you real Pokémon tracks. He taught you all about berries, which ones were safe, and what berries can cure what ailments. He taught you safe places to sleep if you were ever stuck out at night. You loved every second of learning.
In hindsight, it was probably a mistake for them to teach you. You became obsessed with battling and learning about predators. Your dreams of becoming a raichu seemed less like a fantasy and more like a real possibility. It gave your dream legs.
You let out a sad sigh. You look over to where the pidgeotto landed on Sara. You couldn't see her face when it caught her, but you can guess what it looked like. You never really forgave yourself for getting Sara killed and you probably never will. Her death, however, fueled your desire to become a raichu. You are doing this in part for her so you can prevent deaths like hers in the future.
