Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you?

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Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you?

Postby Vennaya » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:28 pm

Ok so long story short me and someone else had messaged eachother about a week ago to try and set up an RP in the future however every time i've seen them since then i messaged them and then i don't get any replies, this has happened almost 3 days in a row; whenever i see them i message them and they don't reply back even though they have the LFRP tag up for several hours at a time. I check back every hour or so to see if they messaged back but they haven't but their status hadn't been set to away or they hadn't been logged off so i don't think they went to sleep or whatever. I don't think i've done anything to offend them as all we discussed was about our future RP and we both agreed on it. Has this person ignored me by mistake? and if so is there a way that i can contact them? Does PUB messages go thought the ignore/mute function? or will i have to ask someone else to contact them for me to check? Or is it something else?
It's left me a little confused honestly, especially as we both were looking forward to the RP.

So... yea, not quite sure what to do really.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby incubite » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:57 pm

I don't believe there's any way to see if someone has muted you, but I will say that if messaging them doesn't turn up any results days in a row it might not be a bad idea to move on and try and find an RP with someone else. Sometimes people are busy and don't get back to you, sometimes people end up changing their minds about an RP and choose to ignore other people, sometimes people just don't notice whispers but whatever the cause for their silence may be if they want to get back to you, they probably will. It's always a bummer when it happens, especially when there's a lack of communication, but it's more worth it to drop it and find someone to play with who is better at responding. I've had plenty of people drop RP's and have dropped plenty of RP's before--I think it's just a thing that happens sometimes.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby Aces » Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:54 pm

No, but if someone is ignoring you, there's generally a good reason, and if there's not, you want to avoid them anyway. Move along.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby Bigfatpiggy » Fri Sep 15, 2017 8:18 pm

It's likely either they have muted you, or simply aren't interested.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby sweetladyamy » Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:09 pm

I know one thing, I've given up on Role Playing at all because of this reason, among others, though in my case, it was a case of send a PM, and either get no response, or a massively delayed one, or a combination of the two.

I had switched to Discord to hopefully circumvent the issue, but that failed as well, so I said 'to Hell with it. Better off just writing my own damned story.'

Honestly, if people are going to be that way, then there's absolutely no purpose in having a RP forum/chat setup in the first place. It makes no sense and is nonsense.

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but this is one of many issues that brings my blood to a boil, and at the very least, I'm being subversively civil.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby KnightleyPaine » Fri Sep 15, 2017 9:43 pm

No, there's no way to find out. But you should contact a mod.

This might be news to many, but the mute function is primarily there as content filter (You don't get to pick what gets played in public, sometimes things common here squick people, they get to temporarily shut that out of sight). Using it to block contact is a last resort for unmediated harassment and not meant as social shield. Same with the blacklist. Before any of that, you have the right to ask someone to no longer contact you. These demands, if worded clearly, are binding in the chat and will be enforced, though even those were meant as a last ditch effort; I can even quote Eka on one account calling it a case for "When you're too much of a child to be able to deal with people normally". It is only considered fine to mute or blacklist a person if you are being actively harassed even after said demand (as to go on about your day normally), until the issue is brought up to a mod.

But to use completely official wording, third point - either there is a problem, or there is none. If there is, there's mods. Do not announce your mutes and blacklists, do not slander people in public or in your profiles, but tell mods everything always. One just lets harassers get away and gets everyone increasingly toxic, the other has real mediation. Mods are not just banhammers, they can give others (and you) clear guidelines and will generally strive to reach understanding and judgment when necessary. Please don't just mute out your problems, don't even opt to not reply on purpose. You're either just allowing everyone else to suffer the problematic person, or you are contributing to an alienating, unwelcoming environment and creating confused or embittered people. Neither is the chat's intended atmosphere.

Of course, be absolutely ready to deal with the reason leading to you being muted/blacklisted in the first place. It's probably a mistake, or it wasn't and someone is being toxically petty. Will you be criticized/punished? If you deserve it. Don't fear it. Let it make you a better person.
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Re: Is there a way to check if someone has ignored/muted you

Postby Rumor » Sat Sep 16, 2017 12:46 am

The problem is, people are too timid about saying no for fear of negative reactions. So, instead they'll go silent, ignore the person, switch alts, completely stop using an alt, go on hiatus from chat, or quit chat altogether all just to avoid having to say no. It's really mind boggling how far people will go to avoid disappointing someone for a minute or two. But when it happens to you? Move on. I've found a lot of people who play hard to get on chat usually aren't worth the effort. Someone who's an equal or better match and easier to work with will turn up sooner or later.

To anyone who doesn't already, just say no to people. Most people will be disappointed, yeah, it's natural, but usually they'll just be like "oh, okay" at worse and that'll be the end of it. It causes far less problems for BOTH of you long term. But what if they do throw a hissy fit or try to guilt trip? Then just stop replying, they'll go elsewhere. If they keep it up, THEN mute/report to the mods. I've only had to stop replying on very, very few occasions (like... twice a year tops) and never had to mute/report. So, I can say, saying no is just simpler!
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