Asking for feedback - Stories

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Asking for feedback - Stories

Postby Miniphage » Fri Oct 07, 2022 10:33 am

This is the first vore story I have shared, I want to know what you think and what to improve (or keep)

(F/M story, Unwilling Prey, Fatal)

***


For regular humans like Jack, it is hard to forget that witches are powerful and unpredictable. When he had first met his room-mate Elenna, he was acutely aware of this.

Despite this, they had known each other long enough for him to feel comfortable with her. They even became boyfriend and girlfriend. They doted on each other and exchanged gifts regularly.

But Elenna might have wanted that false sense of security to develop. One random day, Jack was cooking them both pancakes for breakfast. After he set them on the table, she asked him: "Could you do something for me? I have a surprise for you."

Thinking he was going to receive another gift, Jack merely answered: "Sure, what do I do?"

"Just... sit down on the table and closes your eyes." She said.

"On the table?" "Yes. You will see. Just trust me?" Unwisely, Jack complied.

"Thank you.You are a sweet guy, you know that?"

Elenna used her magic to reduce Jack's size until he was smaller than her stack of pancake. "You can open your eyes now ~" She said in a voice dripping with malice.

To his credit, Jack realized quickly what is happening. Unfortunately, his strategy was running away. With a few small movements, Elenna quickly unscrewed a bottle and poured maple syrup all over the tablecloth. The sugary substance made Jack's legs stick to the tissue, trapping him.

"Oops ~" Elena smirked. "Seems I have made a bit of a mess, haven't I? Let's get you a bit cleaned up."

Her fingers took a hold of Jack's hip. In a slow and gentle manner, she got him untangled enough from the syrup to lift him up to her mouth.
She licked her lips, then Jack's body.
"From sweet guy to even sweeter. You really put the candy in eye candy. "

Jack, terrified but blushing, screamed at her to let him go.

"The only place snacks like you get to go is down there." She replied, pointing to her throat with her free hand.

"Don't worry, you will have the rest of the breakfast desserts to keep you company."
She added, putting Jack down on top of the pancake stacks. He felt more maple syrup on his back. She rubbed him softly, trapping him in place with it a second time. He squirmed a bit, but couldn't dislodge himself.

Now sure he couldn't escape, she pulled out her phone with a cheery: "Smile for the camera!""
Jack didn't, but she always thought he looked cuter when scared anyways.

She posted the picture of her now-complete breakfast on Instavore.

"Oooh, 100 likes already! I guess I am not the only one to think you look tasty. Good thing I grabbed you first." She told Jack, before losing patience.

She crammed Jack and his soft "bed" of pancake in her mouths. She took a moment to savour the rich taste and texture of her ex-boyfriend. She could feel Jack struggle inside. His soft muffled screams made the experience a delight for all five of her senses.

She was going to miss his cooking. She almost considered releasing him.
But the only thing better in life than eating desserts and tinies was churning them down. And she had been waiting for the perfect moment to do just that to Jack... Well, it was now.

She let him slide down with the rest of the snacks, never to be seen again, the last picture of him immortalizing his status as food...

Elenna leaned on her chair, blissful. "Breakfast sure is the best part of the day. At least for those of us lucky enough to be witches and not witch-food. What do you think, old friend?" She said idly to her belly, giving it a pat.

The only answer that came out as a loud burp. "Smartest thing you have said today, Jackie-boy! I will remember you fondly... Now, to focus on the important thing: what will I eat at noon?"

And with that, Elenna opened up Instavore again, curious to see if she could find another sweet-looking guy or gal in the replies...
Last edited by Miniphage on Wed Jan 18, 2023 12:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Asking for feedback - F/M story, Unwilling Prey, Fatal

Postby typemoon » Fri Oct 07, 2022 12:16 pm

funny story to read I really like the foodplay and especially the part where he takes a picture of jack on the pancakes uwu
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Re: Asking for feedback - F/M story, Unwilling Prey, Fatal

Postby Miniphage » Sat Oct 08, 2022 12:11 pm

Thanks!
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Re: Asking for feedback - Stories

Postby Miniphage » Wed Jan 18, 2023 12:49 pm

Second story - Facts about taurs (taur preds, not really any mentioned gender, implied unwilling, reader pov kinda?)

It is written kinda like a listicle-type document.



A few fact about taurs - Or, what to do in taur territories
Brochure by the Taur Territories’ Minister in charge of tourism, food and importation, Rano the foxtaur

Taurs are excellent trackers

Taurs can navigate seamlessly through forests, jungles, canyons…. Any natural environments. Half of the reason is that they are raised there and taught about their surroundings from a young age. The other? An excellent sense of smell.

A common taur past-time consists in trapping a prey in a labyrinth. The taurs players wear a blindfold, the prey doesn’t. If the latter finds the exit before they get found themselves, they get to go free… Otherwise, they get eaten. There hasn’t been a single recorded instance of a non-taur winning the game, though.

Of course, since you are reading this, you are probably in taur territories. So maybe you could get picked and end up being the first… But I doubt that.

Taurs are faster than you

Taurs’ four-legged body-plan means they can outspeed both humans and anthros. They enjoy a good chase. It is a great stress-free activity for them, since they know their quarry cannot elude their grasp.

Their slightly bigger size also allows them to gulp down their chosen meal easily once caught.

Taurs like pinning their prey down

Preys feel good squirming on a taur’s belly. And that is whether they are on the inside or the outside! Before melting them with it, taurs like to tease their tasty toys by crushing them a little with their underbelly and asking for belly rubs.

Taurs wear harnesses

A lot of taurs do not wear clothes. However, most taurs still carry harnesses. It allows them to tie the preys they want to eat later to their belly. This leaves them literally hanging while the taur walks and do everyday business.

It is also a way for the taurs to brag about their hunting skills by showing their new catch to onlookers. Plus, it is fun to make your soon-to-be-food wait in suspense until they are eaten.

Taurs have several stomachs

Some preys use magical trinkets to escape guts. However, most of these break after a trip through a single stomach. Taurs have 4. Many taur-snacks starts overconfident about their ability to survive a trip through a taur’s intestines. They realize too late that their magic won’t save them…

Because they have so many stomachs, taurs can afford to digest prey very slowly, making the experience last for both prey and pred.

Taurs languages have a word for every situation

The word “tourism” in most recorded taur languages directly translates to “Food-importation”, for reasons that will become clear to you soon.

If you have read this far, there is (probably) a taur behind you

If you are reading this version of the brochure, you are probably in taur territories. This means that by reading this, you have wasted the little time you could have spent trying to escape any taurs tracking you down.

This brochure wasn’t written to help you. It is an elaborate way for us taurs to taunt you, by describing what is going to happen to you.

If you are a non-taur in taur territories, you are a meal, plain and simple. And the only thing you can do is wait to get digested, and digest.

Hoping you have a good time, and you last longer than most of our tourists,

The Minister in charge of foreign foods,

Rano the foxtaur
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