Sharing my work

[Nozo]

Hey, name's Nozo.

I've written a few stories at this point, but I'm still relatively new to all this. If you're interested in macro-micro vore, you'll probably enjoy my stuff to some extent. I also wrote one same size vore story, but that probably won't be the norm.

https://aryion.com/g4/user/Nozo

Please do let me know what you think - the best way to improve is with feedback. I'd love to hear any and all opinions on my work.

Thanks for hearing me out

[Tassie]

I was just telling someone else about a writers' group that used to be here a few years ago. Life has just been so crazy lately, I haven't had time to write very much myself, but if someone started another circle like that, I would be happy to help if I could.

I will try to read your works and comment as best I can, but please understand if school and my work schedule get in the way. Thanks and sorry.

[Nozo]

I was just telling someone else about a writers' group that used to be here a few years ago. Life has just been so crazy lately, I haven't had time to write very much myself, but if someone started another circle like that, I would be happy to help if I could.

I will try to read your works and comment as best I can, but please understand if school and my work schedule get in the way. Thanks and sorry.

Don't worry about it, take your time! Life should always come first

[TheWildeWood]

The greatest weakness in your Demonic Dinner story is telling, instead of showing. For instance:

However, things were different here. [Ideally, you bring the reader to this conclusion through your writing.]

If you were to look at this particular Arizona suburb, nothing would seem out of the ordinary. [Instead, describe the ordinary suburb.]

You wouldn’t be able to see the dark underbelly unless you were to make your way into one of the many decorated houses. In this particular house, if you were to enter the basement, you would find something very odd indeed. [The zoom in is a good technique, but it would be more compelling if you took us into it without the museum curation. You could totally keep the narrative voice, in fact, you might want to lean into it to give your story some extra flavor.]

A girl, hunched over on the floor as she adds the final touches to her intricate setup. [Drop the comma. Remove "as she". What's intricate about it? Use a word other than setup for descriptive clarity.]

My advice: spend more time in revision after you've finished your first draft. That's where the magic happens, that's where you cross the hurdle you've noticed in your writing. You've got talent, you just need to polish it.

[Nozo]

The greatest weakness in your Demonic Dinner story is telling, instead of showing. For instance:

However, things were different here. [Ideally, you bring the reader to this conclusion through your writing.]

If you were to look at this particular Arizona suburb, nothing would seem out of the ordinary. [Instead, describe the ordinary suburb.]

You wouldn’t be able to see the dark underbelly unless you were to make your way into one of the many decorated houses. In this particular house, if you were to enter the basement, you would find something very odd indeed. [The zoom in is a good technique, but it would be more compelling if you took us into it without the museum curation. You could totally keep the narrative voice, in fact, you might want to lean into it to give your story some extra flavor.]

A girl, hunched over on the floor as she adds the final touches to her intricate setup. [Drop the comma. Remove "as she". What's intricate about it? Use a word other than setup for descriptive clarity.]

My advice: spend more time in revision after you've finished your first draft. That's where the magic happens, that's where you cross the hurdle you've noticed in your writing. You've got talent, you just need to polish it.

I see, I see
That's good advice - I'll try to keep it in mind
thanks a ton for the help

[NightRoller]

While I agree with actively (and often myself do some) editing and revising one's work to improve it, I think one of the biggest things that will improve your writing (especially concerning small nuances, like using commas too much or too little) is time.

Yes, a passive approach seems kind of self-defeating, but more specifically I refer to the improvement you may make over the span of 2, 4, or longer time spans. The critical part to making sure you are making improvement within that time span is by continuing to write (even if you don't publish), continuing to receive feedback when possible, and most importantly of all, reading all kinds of things (technical textbooks, news articles, fictional stories for children, young adults, and adults (especially classic ones like Catch-22), nonfiction stories, non-fiction instruction books, as well as the writings of others here on Eka's (not necessarily mine, but I wouldn't say that it's a bad idea to check mine out :D ) and other vore sites, and more).

I think reading is the most crucial for improving, but making sure to make at least occasional stories of your own cements and challenges your improving abilities and helps you adjust your writing voice, especially if you experiment a lot with scenarios, point of view, amount of detail and types of detail, and etc.


This is actually not the kind of advice I would have given a year or more ago, but my experience in getting to the point I stand at today allows me to look back on the stories I thought were SUPERB when I wrote them and realize how lacking they were in some aspects and realize the importance that time and experience also play in improving.

[TheWildeWood]

While I agree with actively (and often myself do some) editing and revising one's work to improve it, I think one of the biggest things that will improve your writing (especially concerning small nuances, like using commas too much or too little) is time.

Yes, a passive approach seems kind of self-defeating, but more specifically I refer to the improvement you may make over the span of 2, 4, or longer time spans. The critical part to making sure you are making improvement within that time span is by continuing to write (even if you don't publish), continuing to receive feedback when possible, and most importantly of all, reading all kinds of things (technical textbooks, news articles, fictional stories for children, young adults, and adults (especially classic ones like Catch-22), nonfiction stories, non-fiction instruction books, as well as the writings of others here on Eka's (not necessarily mine, but I wouldn't say that it's a bad idea to check mine out ) and other vore sites, and more).

I think reading is the most crucial for improving, but making sure to make at least occasional stories of your own cements and challenges your improving abilities and helps you adjust your writing voice, especially if you experiment a lot with scenarios, point of view, amount of detail and types of detail, and etc.


This is actually not the kind of advice I would have given a year or more ago, but my experience in getting to the point I stand at today allows me to look back on the stories I thought were SUPERB when I wrote them and realize how lacking they were in some aspects and realize the importance that time and experience also play in improving.

This is also true. It's a nuanced craft and there will always be something to improve on.

[Nozo]

Mhm, mhm. Thanks for the advice - I'll definitely keep writing and try to improve myself.