Short Story, Inspired by Vore War - Critique welcome!

[Razkor]

Hello! This short story was inspired by a custom Vore War campaign. It features a nameless protagonist, their recently deceased partner, and a very high level Imp. It's a fun game and you should check it out if you haven't, viewtopic.php?f=79&t=53707



In the daylight, this place is beautiful.

Great stones perch from the rolling field like ancient lords, kissed at their feet by soft grass and draped in moss cloaks. Remember watching lazy motes mingle with the sweet scent of wildflowers, and the echoing banter from tents over the hill. Can almost feel the grass brush between your toes, her soft hair spilled across your lap-

Cecily.

Brush a tear from your eye with a cold, damp knuckle. The dull feeling of loss stays. You used to find this place invigorating, but you haven’t seen daylight here in years. Still, you walk this valley every night. And though it may be while your body sleeps, this is a place of rest no more.

Tonight is drowned in dense, prickling fog, interrupted only as great stones loom past like sharp cliffs at sea. Wet rags hug skin and the mud chills bare feet as you trudge. Tired hands grip a heavy axe, digits aching from the cold. The discomfort pales in comparison to what you know awaits.

She’s here.

Heart beats faster, weapon held ready. Fog swirls and fades, revealing a short, curvy demon with scorching red hair and ember eyes. Recoil involuntarily. You have gotten to know Saph and her appetites far too well.

With a snap of her fingers, the air roils with the movement of her otherworldly army, seething as they crawl along the edges of perception, sulking away from the reflection of light to thwart meager human senses. Your axe can find their arteries all the same. Hairs prickle the back of your neck as your heart pounds and muscles tense. Vision blurred with tears and rain, you are utterly exhausted. Do your best to hold your poise and prepare for another fight.

The hopeless pain of losing Cecily makes this more difficult than usual. Tonight, legs buckle. Drop to your knees, a wet thunk as the axe falls from your hand, then only the drizzle of rain as Saph draws close.

She stops, reaches out, and lifts your chin to see your face. You shiver at her touch, and brace yourself for another long night of voracious ritual. But right now, the cruel fire in her eyes isn’t there.

“Cecily was taken too soon. I’m so sorry.”

Blink in surprise as your nemesis wraps you in a tender embrace, holding you to her soft chest. Rainwater steams off her dark skin. You stiffly try to resist, but even after all the hellfire she’s put you through, the moment of gentle warmth is soothing. Maybe, just maybe, one night without the torture and mind games, one night ending without the excruciating fade into her searing stomach acids.

Don’t give in.

“My poor, lonely warrior. It’s so cold out here, and you must be so sad.” She whispers. “But… you know this isn’t over, right?”

Ah. Here it comes.

“I can see you getting more tired. You look terrible tonight. Trouble sleeping?”

Sharp nails run through your wet hair, her lips hint a familiar smirk.

“You know, our nights together will be a lot more restful once you stop insisting on bringing that stupid axe and start enjoying yourself. So much suffering when this could all be pleasure! This can feel so good for both of us… why all the blood and fighting every time?” Her head lightly tilts. “Isn’t like you ever win.”

This all sounds and feels increasingly familiar, as her grip on you tightens.

Stay strong. Resist. Her army is marching towards us right now. If I can’t keep a clear head in battle…

“Look, I know you don’t trust me, you don’t have to change your mind right now, just hear me out. I have a surprise for you.” She continues with odd sincerity. “Most Imps don’t have the connections that I have, and usually souls are off limits. Buuut… I pulled some strings, dealt with a little dissent, and I found Ceci’s soul! And I can bring her here!! Actual, Certified Cecily!! I think I even know how to give her a real body here.” She taps a finger against your temple. “At least, as far as this can tell!”

Her eyes dart excitedly as she awaits your reaction.

“I… I don’t understand. Why do all this for me? And why would she listen to you? Ceci wasn’t exactly fond of Imps…”

Saph releases you. “Well… That’s true… Honestly, I’m just sad I never got to her!” She admits, as two fingers thoughtfully trace along her midsection. “But I also got to see her through your eyes. Through your mind. I felt love so pure I can still taste it. Such strong souls, so preciously intertwined. And she looked so yummy and sweet… I was so excited to finally eat the two of you in person!!”

Did she mean “meet”?

The uncorrected silence passes. She takes your hand with a warm smile.

“I’m so sorry. I know my loss doesn’t compare.” Something hard and cool slips from Saph’s hand into your own. She presses your fingers into it. “But she was stolen from both of us. I want you to be with her, and I know she misses you. I’m going to keep playing with you, and I’m keeping you here no matter what, so wouldn’t a friend be nice? As for her, the afterlife is a lonely place, imagine how happy she’d be to visit you every night!”

A moment’s pause, as she reads your concern.

“Of course I’ll be having fun with her too, but what am I going to do, kill her again? I’m not strong enough to digest souls, I can’t even bring her here against her will, and she isn’t trying to kill me like some people, so why make her suffer?” She releases your hand with a patronizing, almost hurt look. “My acids don’t have to sting this badly you know! Most of the humans I eat beg me to keep them by the end of it! What kind of monster do you think I am? You do this to yourself!!”

Don’t listen. This is her doing. Not mine.

“These nights would be so beautiful… You could have her, she could have you… and I get both of you! Everybody wins!” She kisses your forehead. “And all you’ve got to do is leave that axe at home and bring a little team spirit next time.”

With that, she looks at you for one more moment, waves goodbye, and silently slips into the aether.

And enjoy your night off…

Try to shake her voice out of your head. Look to your hand. Fingers gently uncurl. The imperfect symmetry of Cecily’s iron ring stares back. You recognize every scratch, facet, and flaw. The Imp loves her mischief, but this feels different. There’s no doubt in your mind - this really is Ceci’s ring. You can almost feel her soft presence in the mist and great stones as your hand warms the iron…

You cannot pull your eyes away as your surroundings blur and fade to darkness.

You get your first restful sleep in months, blissfully free of dreams, and with nothing else to remember. Finally awaken to afternoon sunlight. Blink sleep from your eyes, and feel emptiness in both hands.

Damn you to hell, Saph.

Step out of your tent and into another day. There’s work to be done. Your captor wasn’t even hiding her tricks, but despite everything, your mind lingers on one thought:

I could see her tonight.