Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

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Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby DPMaster » Sat Jan 28, 2023 4:35 pm

Edited on February 26th - As my profile says, I've written and published tons of fetish stories involving breast punishment and CBT, one of which touched peripherally on snakes, fish, and other fun stuff as tools for torment rather than actually eating people outright. But I've never written straight vore. In trying to write something suitable for this forum, I adapted parts of that snake story and went on to write completely new sections with actual snake vore. So far, I've posted four parts. The little feedback I've received had been very positive, but -- surprisingly -- I've gotten less response to this story than others. So I thought I'd post links to it here and ask for thoughts and critique. I don't typically do that, since I have been publishing for a couple decades, but I'm new to vore. So, here you go. I'm all ears (eyes). Does the inclusion of tit torture prior to the vore shut people down before they get there? Maybe the CBT focus at the end? Please let me know. Once I see what people have to say, I'll decide whether to try another one or not. Thanks in advance. ~Matt~

Part 1 - https://aryion.com/g4/view/854172
Part 2 - https://aryion.com/g4/view/854250
Part 3 - https://aryion.com/g4/view/854798
Part 4 - https://aryion.com/g4/view/855230
Part 5 - https://aryion.com/g4/view/867261
Last edited by DPMaster on Sun Feb 26, 2023 4:37 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby theheadsn » Sat Jan 28, 2023 5:50 pm

Hadnt even realized you had written more than the first chapter. Read it and loved it so far. I hope you do continue it and at least give it the ending it looks to be going lol
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby The_Agent » Mon Jan 30, 2023 1:33 pm

Some of your tagging may be partially responsible for low responses. A lot of your tags seem to be combinations of what would commonly be separate ones. There are a number of people on this site who over use tags excessively when there's no need for them. (If your list of tags are longer then your story you may be doing something wrong.) In your case though, you just don't have very many.

Some possible tags for your perusal:
Beastiality - If the animals are non-sapient
Feral - Usually referring to animal in shape but being fully sapient
Hard Vore , Gore - There will be blood
Soft Vore - Swallowing whole
Fatal - Someone is gonna die
Non-Fatal , Safe (used more on FA) - Probably no one is going to die
Endosoma - This one is sometimes used inconsistently bit is a combination of Soft Vore + Non-Fatal + someone enjoys being inside

I hope these basic tags are helpful.
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby DPMaster » Tue Jan 31, 2023 1:44 am

The_Agent wrote:Some of your tagging may be partially responsible for low responses...

Thanks. I'll take a look at them and see what I need to add.
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby DPMaster » Tue Feb 14, 2023 8:38 pm

Welp, I've added and changed tags. As is often the case in a lot of fetish forums, it seems pictures are more popular than stories, so I take that into consideration. I also get that there are a lot of people (maybe the majority) who prefer to lurk and remain anonymous on forums like this one for fear of being "outed." Maybe it's simply that folks don't like my writing style here. In any case, I've started on the 5th chapter, and will post it eventually. I can't say I'll be snake voring any more after that.
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby DPMaster » Thu Feb 16, 2023 12:16 pm

I just posted the final chapter to "Daring the Serpent to Strike." I hope everyone likes it and gives me feedback about what might make it even better for them. Depending on likes and comments, I may try another vore tale. Otherwise, I'll stick to the stuff I know best. In either case, here's the link: https://aryion.com/g4/view/867261 .
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Re: Story - Daring the Serpent to Strike

Postby DPMaster » Sun Feb 26, 2023 4:35 am

I'm still getting a lot fewer responses than I'd hoped. Is it still not being found, or could it be including tit torture (or CBT later on) is turning snake vore people off? I'd love to know what people are looking for that I should have, or could have, done differently.
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