How do you make friends who share your fetish?

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How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Ixtili » Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:12 am

It seems like naturally, you'd have to do so in an online environment because people are not exactly open about their fetish in public. But how do you develop a connection with someone you can't see? I guess you could try striking up a conversation on something they've made but then you just seem overly familiar, you could try just complementing them but then you seem generic. You can PM them but there's no guarantee they'll answer. Doing nothing and just waiting for someone else to make the first move doesn't seem like a good plan either. I've heard people say they've made plenty of friends online but how? What's the secret? Is the secret discord? Cause I don't have that. If this were kindergarten you could just say "I like your face let's be friends" but is that still a viable tactic as an adult? hmm.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby ArcaneSigil » Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:18 am

If you figure it out, lemme know. I don't have any friends left from my high school days.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Ixtili » Mon Jul 04, 2022 3:22 am

ArcaneSigil wrote:If you figure it out, lemme know. I don't have any friends left from my high school days.


Almost same, I have one left and I have not talked to her in awhile. I worry the connection is fading but I also worry that texting her out of the blue would be weird.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby KnightleyPaine » Mon Jul 04, 2022 5:41 am

1.) Purge your nervousness, you won't get rid of all of it, but taking a moment for it reinforces mental fortitude on everyone who rolled bad on their self confidence at character creation.

2.) Purge your expectations. So hear me out, when you talk to someone with a hard goal in mind, you start awkwardly maneuvering the conversation. This gets worse if you're pushy, and I don't mean you think you're pushy, I mean you're pushy without knowing it which is worse. You know how someone will call themselves a nice guy, and then when they don't get their way they immediately get bitter? You do not have the attitude you think you have, and your belief that you are not the villain IRL is substantiated only by your cherry-picked perspective. So take a moment and make peace with the fact that you are not making a friend today.

3.) Ask yourself: Do you know what sort of relationship you want with said friend? Like sure, now you're lonely, but then the next amazing single player game of your favorite series comes out and your focus is entirely on that all of a sudden. Know what your commitment is, and know how to draw your boundaries, because the other person also needs to know what their commitment is.

4.) Go to the place with the vore people. That's your target audience, right? Yeah, go there.

Route Split:

Organic Route: This when you care about character development and don't like it when people with shit sense for story and chemistry force a romance and perpetuate the idea that the protagonist 'deserves' friends or a romantic outcome.

5a.) Participate in the community. And here's the trick, do so normally, because -

6a.) Remember step 2? Don't eye people weirdly and focus on them because they look like the person you'd want, just naturally interact, you will start coinciding with people who share your interests because you were naturally following said interests and so were they. You will become familiar with some faces over time.

7a.) Proceed to route merge at 8.)

Assertive Route: This is when you acknowledge that who dares wins. It's probably harder because you wouldn't have to ask if you didn't already know how.

5b.) Go into the spaces with stuff you enjoy

6b.) Acquire target of choice

7b.) Mildly stalk them for signs that they would not wish to be pestered: Either in the current circumstance, by the likes of you, or in general. For example, chances are a female presenting artists has to at some point include in their profile you shouldn't talk sexy at them. Even a socially inept person can literally read the words and then proceed to follow the instructions. You might be wondering why I'm going out of my way to include this, and that's because if you don't do this you WILL become a nuisance in the life of someone who has had to fend off hundreds of people like you. If you see the slightest hint of such a thing, assume they mean it.

Route Merge:

8.) Send them a message containing:
-A greeting of your choice. It doesn't have to be 'full of quirkiness' if you're not charming. DO NOT FLIRT TALK IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO.
-Why you are messaging them. Make sure you don't confuse this step with 2.) where you think by hiding your intentions you can weasel yourself into someone's life, that's horrible, you are horrible, you aren't 'just saying hi', you have a motive. Don't fuck around on that, that's what makes people ask "how are you" as their 2nd line when asking for roleplay and everyone considers that a breach of the Geneva Convention.
-The reason you have chosen to message them in particular. If this stumps you, your reason is shit. For example, you saw sexy anime booba avatar nr. 24601. If you are trying to apply mental gymnastics to not address a shit reason, your reason is shit. Assertive people know what they want and why they act, everyone else is just head empty no shame. If you know why, you fucking know why.
-Ask them if they would be open to conduct an activity that you fathom they'd enjoy to connect with. If this stumps you, you don't actually care about them enough to know shit. But at the same time, you don't have to overthink this either, it can be as simple as talking about your likes.

9.) I'm not responsible for how you express yourself, nor am I responsible if you're shit at it and just end up harassing people. Remember that you are the only constant in all of your encounters. If a lot of them don't end well and you're here from the assertive path, you are not the good kind of assertive. Stop and go to the organic route for character development lest you end up blaming everyone else and go down the incel spiral.

10.) Get rejected or ghosted because it'll happen. Now, I consider ghosting rude, but there is a very common point where you should always expect it: The first contact message. Your relationship does not exist, you have no indication that person is comfortable with being contacted, if they don't reply because you were creepy or weird, that's fair. You only get to expect replies if the person actually replies. For all you know you've just made a socially anxious person quit the site forever.

11.) If they reply, you've successfully made the first step.

12.) Fuck it up because you're inept or had to dodge a bullet.

13.) Evaluate why this happened. DO NOT PRESSURE THE OTHER PERSON TO TELL YOU IF IT WAS MESSY.

14.) Become hopefully less inept, try again when you feel comfortable again.

15.) You must follow every step and maintain every filter. The more sloppy you are, the more likely you become a creep. See someone noting publically they don't want to be messaged and do it anyways? Chances are you're the creep. You were stumped on the message reasoning and still went through with it? Chances are you're the creep. Feel bitter after an encounter and think they should have given you a chance? You failed point 2.), you're entitled to nobody's attention, get over yourself. Every step is important to not be garbage.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby TMVore » Mon Jul 04, 2022 6:24 am

I'm the oddball in this, But since it does work for me:

Just ask.

Remember, Be respectful, polite, and don't bite. (Unless asked~)
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Ixtili » Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:02 am

KnightleyPaine wrote:1.) Purge your nervousness, you won't get rid of all of it, but taking a moment for it reinforces mental fortitude on everyone who rolled bad on their self confidence at character creation.

2.) Purge your expectations. So hear me out, when you talk to someone with a hard goal in mind, you start awkwardly maneuvering the conversation. This gets worse if you're pushy, and I don't mean you think you're pushy, I mean you're pushy without knowing it which is worse. You know how someone will call themselves a nice guy, and then when they don't get their way they immediately get bitter? You do not have the attitude you think you have, and your belief that you are not the villain IRL is substantiated only by your cherry-picked perspective. So take a moment and make peace with the fact that you are not making a friend today.

3.) Ask yourself: Do you know what sort of relationship you want with said friend? Like sure, now you're lonely, but then the next amazing single player game of your favorite series comes out and your focus is entirely on that all of a sudden. Know what your commitment is, and know how to draw your boundaries, because the other person also needs to know what their commitment is.

4.) Go to the place with the vore people. That's your target audience, right? Yeah, go there.

Route Split:

Organic Route: This when you care about character development and don't like it when people with shit sense for story and chemistry force a romance and perpetuate the idea that the protagonist 'deserves' friends or a romantic outcome.

5a.) Participate in the community. And here's the trick, do so normally, because -

6a.) Remember step 2? Don't eye people weirdly and focus on them because they look like the person you'd want, just naturally interact, you will start coinciding with people who share your interests because you were naturally following said interests and so were they. You will become familiar with some faces over time.

7a.) Proceed to route merge at 8.)

Assertive Route: This is when you acknowledge that who dares wins. It's probably harder because you wouldn't have to ask if you didn't already know how.

5b.) Go into the spaces with stuff you enjoy

6b.) Acquire target of choice

7b.) Mildly stalk them for signs that they would not wish to be pestered: Either in the current circumstance, by the likes of you, or in general. For example, chances are a female presenting artists has to at some point include in their profile you shouldn't talk sexy at them. Even a socially inept person can literally read the words and then proceed to follow the instructions. You might be wondering why I'm going out of my way to include this, and that's because if you don't do this you WILL become a nuisance in the life of someone who has had to fend off hundreds of people like you. If you see the slightest hint of such a thing, assume they mean it.

Route Merge:

8.) Send them a message containing:
-A greeting of your choice. It doesn't have to be 'full of quirkiness' if you're not charming. DO NOT FLIRT TALK IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO.
-Why you are messaging them. Make sure you don't confuse this step with 2.) where you think by hiding your intentions you can weasel yourself into someone's life, that's horrible, you are horrible, you aren't 'just saying hi', you have a motive. Don't fuck around on that, that's what makes people ask "how are you" as their 2nd line when asking for roleplay and everyone considers that a breach of the Geneva Convention.
-The reason you have chosen to message them in particular. If this stumps you, your reason is shit. For example, you saw sexy anime booba avatar nr. 24601. If you are trying to apply mental gymnastics to not address a shit reason, your reason is shit. Assertive people know what they want and why they act, everyone else is just head empty no shame. If you know why, you fucking know why.
-Ask them if they would be open to conduct an activity that you fathom they'd enjoy to connect with. If this stumps you, you don't actually care about them enough to know shit. But at the same time, you don't have to overthink this either, it can be as simple as talking about your likes.

9.) I'm not responsible for how you express yourself, nor am I responsible if you're shit at it and just end up harassing people. Remember that you are the only constant in all of your encounters. If a lot of them don't end well and you're here from the assertive path, you are not the good kind of assertive. Stop and go to the organic route for character development lest you end up blaming everyone else and go down the incel spiral.

10.) Get rejected or ghosted because it'll happen. Now, I consider ghosting rude, but there is a very common point where you should always expect it: The first contact message. Your relationship does not exist, you have no indication that person is comfortable with being contacted, if they don't reply because you were creepy or weird, that's fair. You only get to expect replies if the person actually replies. For all you know you've just made a socially anxious person quit the site forever.

11.) If they reply, you've successfully made the first step.

12.) Fuck it up because you're inept or had to dodge a bullet.

13.) Evaluate why this happened. DO NOT PRESSURE THE OTHER PERSON TO TELL YOU IF IT WAS MESSY.

14.) Become hopefully less inept, try again when you feel comfortable again.

15.) You must follow every step and maintain every filter. The more sloppy you are, the more likely you become a creep. See someone noting publically they don't want to be messaged and do it anyways? Chances are you're the creep. You were stumped on the message reasoning and still went through with it? Chances are you're the creep. Feel bitter after an encounter and think they should have given you a chance? You failed point 2.), you're entitled to nobody's attention, get over yourself. Every step is important to not be garbage.


Some of this was alittle confusing at points but overall what I'm getting is that it's easier to screw up a social encounter when you have too many expectations about that social encounter or are not clear about what you want to yourself or others.

So if say I want a platonic relationship but one in which discussing fetish ideas and brainstorming in a writer's circle type way is a common activity. The suggestion is: to outright say that's what I want? But in a way that doesn't scare people away or put pressure on them or come off as demanding or presumptious? It sounds like there's lots of ways to screw this up but not necessarily a lot of ways to get it right. I guess that's why the first step is to purge nervousness. That first step alone already feels like a huge obstacle though.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby EmilyNidhoggr » Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:10 am

Yes, the secret is discord. I spent like eight years doing vore art on deviantart without really making a single friend (the closest was a couple of people who'd comment on my stuff more than once), but then I got on discord and now I have like ten or twenty, a couple of whom are closer than my real life friends.

It's like how you can't make friends at a party where everyone's dancing, you have to find people you like and go "hey, do you want to move somewhere quieter?" Discord is the outdoor smoking table/upstairs balcony.

But hey, I'll be your friend. I like your posts, and you have a nice profile pic, that's good enough for me.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Nekiame » Mon Jul 04, 2022 9:31 am

For me, I went to do some RP with someone on here & we sort of stayed in touch afterwards. Eventually he invited me to this art group he was part off, and there we met some other vore artists who's now part of our small friend group. It just sort of happened, but it's been more than 10 years now and we're still friends who nom eachother. Sometimes... things like these just happen. Aint always a matter of trying.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Tekknö » Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:15 am

Convert your current friends...
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby KnightleyPaine » Mon Jul 04, 2022 11:37 am

Ixtili wrote:Some of this was alittle confusing at points but overall what I'm getting is that it's easier to screw up a social encounter when you have too many expectations about that social encounter or are not clear about what you want to yourself or others.

So if say I want a platonic relationship but one in which discussing fetish ideas and brainstorming in a writer's circle type way is a common activity. The suggestion is: to outright say that's what I want? But in a way that doesn't scare people away or put pressure on them or come off as demanding or presumptious? It sounds like there's lots of ways to screw this up but not necessarily a lot of ways to get it right. I guess that's why the first step is to purge nervousness. That first step alone already feels like a huge obstacle though.

I mean basically yeah. The guy who said 'just go and do it' is just saying that too with less instructions.

And yeah, if you are a nervous person, that'll get to you a bit and you might say something that makes you cringe afterward. I'm not telling you to be 0% nervous, I'm telling you to be mentally prepared to accept your fallibility. A non-zero amount of things I say will be wrong or worded badly, I have accepted this reality beforehand so when you don't understand or find it objectionable I'd be less likely to enter a coping mechanism such as think of you as genuinely stupid or a more inward option like being crippled in a state of wanting to bury myself and die. Here, I'll demonstrate it with you as the target.

1.) Breath in, breath out.
2.) Not everyone wants to be my friend and that's okay.
3.) I want a [platonic relationship but one in which discussing fetish ideas and brainstorming in a writer's circle type way is a common activity.]
4.) I am on Eka's.
5-7.) We have conveniently encountered each other before, you have actually kind of figured the pattern of my attitude and you aren't outraged at me as a troll or something, I could totally give it a shot if I had a cause.

8.) This step I deliberately structured like a litmus test because if I actually follow it I'm forced to know a few things about you to qualify.

"Greetings. (Greeting of my choice)

I'm messaging you because across threads we've participated in the past, I kinda caught your interest of writing horror aspects of vore and since you've been so open to mention your writings, I may have been going through them in your gallery... (why I've chosen to message you in particular) I happen dabble in a bit of writing myself and needless to say, have a deep interest in such themes; albeit mine often combines with more sexual connotations, such as being 'scaroused' as one would say. How would you feel about exchanging some thoughts on the matter? Like, discussing fetish ideas and brainstorming in a writer's circle type way - to be clear though I mean this to be platonic (Your intentions for messaging them).

I understand this comes a little out of left field, so it's fine if that's not your thing. Otherwise, I happen to have a current muse for my next work, would you be interested in sharing your thoughts on the manuscript? (Suggested activity)"

9.) In this particular example, you will notice some of it is true despite us being effectively strangers. Me going through your stories or being particularly interested in horror is not true for the real me, but the hypothetical is that I desire what you desire and if I did I would have at least read some of your stories and for this example we will assume they are true. From there, the way I express myself is on me, like I have this bit of vulnerability where I actually tell you a thing I enjoy - this is fair if it is genuinely something that will come up, so it is also fair if that is your grounds for rejection. It is also assumed I am honest in wanting it to be platonic, it will ground your expectations on what my approach entails, so if you had different expectations or if mine change they will have to be separately initiated, but it is understood that you probably shouldn't try seduction on your reply because you're a grown-ass adult and respect me.
11.) If you reply and reject me, since I have been genuine in my intentions, you not wanting it is fair, I am not entitled to it. If you reply and are curious or want to engage in my suggested venture, we're in business.
12.) Conversely to the honesty part, if I defined this as platonic but then go around and start getting all creepy on you now that you've let your guard down, I will have betrayed your trust. You may now roll a will save against trust issues and becoming a jaded asshole respectively.
13.) If you rejected me, I can look at why. Do my interests that I parade around unsettle you? That's fair. Is what you see of my forum conduct concerning and thus makes you not want to connect with me? Totally understandable. If the answer is based on a reality, it is always a fair outcome; I asked a question, you gave the reply, the reply is what I asked for, I don't choose what your reply is, only you do. If however, I find my own conduct unnecessarily compromised this and made you uncomfortable, I should probably change.
14.) When I feel comfortable with approaching someone else for my intentions, I can try again a little smarter and more experienced than last time.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Chameleonette » Mon Jul 04, 2022 12:22 pm

I'm gonna be real with you--- (Now we're both real. ...Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Discord makes things a lot easier. When you join servers of people with similar interests and share content/ideas, it's a lot easier to form natural connections based on shared preferences/interests. It can still be a bit awkward for shy and non-social types, but honestly, if you're always waiting for the other party to reach out, that's not going to fortify a decent mutual bond anyway.

You can also try the chatroom that is on this very site. The Vore Room often has people just chatting as well as casual roleplaying. And you can be assured that 99% of people there are into vore, so it's a good place to start if you just can't bring yourself to try Discord. I have found people to be pretty welcoming there.

I would also advise not skipping 'steps'. I don't really think people can know immediately if they'll be good friends or not (online or off). No one is going to show all of themselves right on the surface right away. I believe things like that take time to cultivate. Some work faster than others and have different paces for establishing friendships---it really depends on the people involved and their comfort levels. And also whether or not you're looking for lasting friendships or friends in name only.

But I wish you luck and I hope this helps in some small way. It's not easy, especially for those more socially challenged, but you would be surprised how many people feel that way and that can be a way to relate to others in itself. Just remember that it's ultimately a two-way street. : )
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby ElyBlanche » Mon Jul 04, 2022 2:42 pm

Ixtili wrote:It seems like naturally, you'd have to do so in an online environment because people are not exactly open about their fetish in public. But how do you develop a connection with someone you can't see? I guess you could try striking up a conversation on something they've made but then you just seem overly familiar, you could try just complementing them but then you seem generic. You can PM them but there's no guarantee they'll answer. Doing nothing and just waiting for someone else to make the first move doesn't seem like a good plan either. I've heard people say they've made plenty of friends online but how? What's the secret? Is the secret discord? Cause I don't have that. If this were kindergarten you could just say "I like your face let's be friends" but is that still a viable tactic as an adult? hmm.


Discord helps a lot. Being in a server of people with similar interests makes it easy to make friends. Eka's Portal is kind of hard cuz its just a message forum, but a chat room makes that easier. Discord isn't hard to set up or anything.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby GammaTheKobold » Mon Jul 04, 2022 6:24 pm

I would have to agree with the most common sentiment here, discord, a chat program, being able to talk freely with people is the best way. I used to play a lot RP wise in an MMO Everquest 2 - I made a lot of good friends there, including ones with vore fetish, hell, I knew a few in that community that even got married IRL. But it was that chat like setting that made it easy to talk and converse, it that translates pretty well to programs like discord.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Brainfood » Mon Jul 04, 2022 10:15 pm

From personal experience? Hook up with lots of queer people, trans people in particular. I swear to god, you flip a coin for every trans woman you meet and you'll be right half the time. Hell, I've met a number of us who don't know what it is, and then respond to me explaining it with "damn, yeah, that sounds kinda hot."

I'm being facetious, because this is a way of making friends that basically only works if you are the kind of person who is confident enough to initiate and lead flirtations, and my experience has been that this is really uncommon. It helps to live in a metropolitan area.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby vakrata » Tue Jul 05, 2022 12:51 am

I... don't? I don't even make friends who DON'T share my fetish.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby jaggedjagd » Tue Jul 05, 2022 3:26 am

From personal experiece, a shared fetish isn't a good starting ground to nurture a long-lasting friendship. If that doesn't stop you though, i'd say try to apporach them the same way you would anyone else you wanna start a converation with. By the end of the day people with fetishes are still people like anyone else. With artists/writers, you usually have an easy entry point for smalltalk by commenting on their work. Speaking as an artist/writer myself, we love rambling about our own work. :U And Discord of course, always a good place to mingle with people of mutual interest.

Also, just cause i came across this recently and it seems relevant to this topic:

https://www.artofmanliness.com/people/s ... mall-talk/

I found that very insighful as i have no fucking clue how to make smalltalk, can't carry a conversation to save my life. The gist of it, don't try to make people interested in you, show interest in other people first. Not to the point of becooming pushy or "creepy", but speaking also from the experience of a sociallly inept nerd, i am eteranlly grateful for anyone who initates the conversation themselves and goes out of their way to speak to me rather than expecting me to do it.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby TMVore » Tue Jul 05, 2022 11:24 am

Tekknö wrote:Convert your current friends...


ngl, Kinda want to test this route.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby voreftw » Tue Jul 05, 2022 1:40 pm

Maybe i'm an outlier in this, but I always found it very strange when people would casually discuss kinks and fetishes with their friends who they are not sexual with. It's like some of those people who would recommend casually to watch porn while hanging out.

My friends tend to be my friends due to similar hobbies and interest, and because vore ain't real and we aren't consuming each other, it typically would never be a hobby I'd seek to share with my friends.

Now my guess, is that if you're just looking for a some people who share the same kink to just casually discuss it in an attempt to feel more normal about yourself, then I'd likely recommend finding a discord group. There's actually a lot of them out there, some definitely more active than others. Discussion isn't only about vore either, there's a bunch of them with general and casual fun discussions and whatnot.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby Tekknö » Tue Jul 05, 2022 1:57 pm

JustDroppingANote wrote:
Tekknö wrote:Convert your current friends...


ngl, Kinda want to test this route.


Yeah it actually worked on some of my friends, however it wasn't the ones that I wanted the get it. So, it'll either work miraculously, or fail miserably. Either that or it won't be the person you'd hope.
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Re: How do you make friends who share your fetish?

Postby gnotagnome » Tue Jul 05, 2022 2:00 pm

bring up vore and see if anybody responds positively. All my friends know about vore and a good number of them know it because of me. I often bring up how there's at least 10 isntances of vore in spongebob, as that's a bit more of a "i've noticed someone on this team is into vore" rather than "I'm into vore", so it somebody is super judgy, it's less pointed toward me and instead a creator on a show. I think of the 20-30 people i've mentioned vore to, 1 person was also into vore, and we talk about it sometimes.
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